I had to do some shopping, since our cupboards were getting pretty bare, and I didn't want to have toast and spaghetti sauce for dinner tonight. Since I needed so much stuff, I spent quite a bit of time at the grocery store today, and learned a few things I thought might help other potential grocery shoppers.
1. Don't refer to the humongous, institutional-size can of green beans as "Prison Beans." People might not know what you're talking about.
2. You shouldn't interrogate the produce. It's not equipped to answer your questions, and it doesn't know how many potatoes you still have in the pantry back at home, or if you already used the last onion.
3. Even if your running commentary is addressed to another human person currently shopping nearby, they still might not appreciate your analysis of the state of the "on sale" yogurt selection.
4. I had the best luck at conversation in the meat department, lamenting the fact that the "Big Buy" family size package was more expensive per pound than the single pound packages of ground beef. Another concerned shopper shared my views, or at least didn't try to pretend the crazy lady wasn't talking to him.
5. It's dangerous to give me coupons for chocolate products. I will find a way to utilize every bit of savings, and come home with four pounds of chocolate. Especially just before Valentine's Day. But it's all on sale!
6. Deodorant is no better at conversation than the potatoes were, and it doesn't know where they keep the Chapstick, either.
7. I always forget something important. Even if it's on the list. One important, necessary ingredient will be forgotten in my rush to get home before the frozen waffles defrost. Unfortunately, this week the forgotten item was a report cover for my daughter's poetry class homework assignment. Oops. Looks like we'll be crafting one from wrapping paper tonight.
So there you have it. If you have any other important grocery lessons for us, please feel free to share.