Friday, January 11, 2013

Untweetworthy, Part the Fourth

Sometimes, about a thousand untweetworthy things occur all at once. Yesterday was one of those days.

For the first time in about a year, I went out to lunch with a particular friend of mine. Our favorite thing to do is to go to Ikea, browse around until we get hungry, then eat at the restaurant, then buy as many unpronouncable things as we can afford, and then drive home in time for our kids to get home from school. It's a silly way to spend the day, but we really needed a break from the routine. I needed a writing break, and since she works from home, she just wanted to get out in the world with another (sort-of) grown up. It worked out well.

When we got there, I sort of felt like this:

Happy Strawberry.

But as things went along, and I realized they'd rearranged the entire store since I'd been there last, I felt a little:

Stunned Owl.

By the time we were done and ready to go home, I was definitely reduced to:

Because I don't speak Swedish, and I refuse to accept the printed translation, I'm going to assume this means Drunk Flower.

When I successfully found my way out of the Maze of Stylish Swedish Things, I sent this tweet:

I am proud of this because Ikea favorited it. Silly, right?

Also, I bought something called Pepparkaka. I also bought a Pepparkaka house. Both of these things made me giggle in an entirely inappropriate manner. *these things are gingerbread*

Here ends the Ikea portion of today's program. Let's begin the cat portion, shall we?

We've taken down all the Christmas decorations, but the tree is still standing, in all its naked plastic glory. I'm so sad to see it go, not because of all the fond family feelings surrounding the holiday, but because the cat seems to love it. He spends half his day eight feet up the tree.

So now we're looking into buying or building a kitty tree for him, but one made for cats. I am such a sucker.

Okay, so now, on to the comestibles.

Earlier this week, I made a really nomulent chicken soup called Cock-A-Leekie. Go ahead and say it aloud. Feel free to say it again. It is fun to say. I haven't stopped saying cock-a-leekie all week.

Last night I was supposed to enjoy a fun family meal of pizza before I had to head out to a meeting. Instead of eating and spending time with Helper Monkey and Lulu, I fell asleep in my Comfy Chair. Even more shocking, I WAS WEARING REAL PANTS! IN MY WRITING CHAIR! Who knew walking around for half the morning would knock me out? I woke up just in time to leave for my meeting.

To avoid driving off the road in my stupor, I grabbed a can of Cherry Coke on my way out. I was looking forward to my caffeine fix. First thing I did after signing in to the meeting? I spilled half the soda all over the sign in sheet, proving just how much I needed to drink it as opposed to dumping it out all over a table.

FOUR DAYS IN A ROW! That is how many times this week I have known the answer to Final Jeopardy, and NONE of the contestants on the show knew the answer. Too bad I don't get paid for playing at home. :/

And I think Twitter has already accepted all the other non-tweet-worthy things I've thought of today. It really has been a banner day for me. Between essentially rewriting the first chapter of the manuscript I've spent the better part of a year querying and then feeling stressed out about having wasted so many chances to show wonderful agents my best work, it's been full of feels. Now I am subjecting my brave and intrepid CP's to my Frankenscript. I can't even. There is too much.


Imma go drown all those feelings with alcohol and then start writing again! Wheeeeee!


  1. I love your cat! Is it the one with thumbs? And I'd get excited if Ikea favorited my tweet, too!

    1. Yes, he has bonus toes! His feet look like little boxing gloves. :)

  2. Okay. First of all, I can't comment on your post before saying that I just got way too enthralled with your feed-the-fish-footer. I actually sat there for what had to be a full minute, clicking my mouse in an effort to get the fake fish to eat the food--hoping, if they ate it, some wondrous thing would occur that I would get to be a part of. I finally realized I was just sitting there, my mouth hanging slightly open, rapidly clicking my mouse. So I stopped. The fish--incidentally--ate none of the food while I was watching and, even as we "speak" I find myself resisting the urge to scroll down and see if the fish are eating NOW. I refuse to succumb to this urge.

    So...what was your blog about??? Oh, right. Ikea. I'd be super-excited if Ikea liked one of my tweets!! Glad you got to have a fun time there and buy some drunk flowers. Nothing like an intoxicated plant to make your day a good one.

    But i'm sorry you spilled your caffeine fix. I know how badly that sucks. I've done it myself.

    Good job on rewriting your chapter!! And just think of it this way--the agent who is cosmically meant to have your book wasn't supposed to see it until it was fixed. That's why you had to get all those other agents off your list with the wrong copy. It's all happening the way it's meant to!! :)

    Good luck with it!! Hope your CP partners like it. Also, I've been looking to do more critiquing, so if you ever need an outside opinion, hit me up!! I promise I am an excellent critique-giver. (I see no point in false modesty)

    I succumbed to the urge to look before hitting post and they DID eat my food. Now I feel better. I want a fish thingy for my blog. Where did you get it???

    1. The little fish app is on the Blogger page settings page, where you load apps and widgets. I forget I have it down there, and once in a while I remember and do the same thing. I've stared at it entirely too long, but sometimes it's just what I need to relax. :)

      If you're interested in critiquing more, and don't already have a mountain of things to do, let me know. My email information is in my bio. I'm not on a deadline or anything, so time isn't an issue. Send me an email and I'd be happy to share. Thanks!

  3. "Between essentially rewriting the first chapter of the manuscript I've spent the better part of a year querying and then feeling stressed out about having wasted so many chances to show wonderful agents my best work,"

    I have done this exact thing recently. Cheers and here's toasting my Dr. Pepper to your Cherry Coke.

    (Plus, I haven't been to Ikea in ages. I now feel sure it is the road to NEW THINGS for me next week.)

    1. And now I've rewritten it YET AGAIN! THANK YOU CP'S!

      And today I return your toast with my own Dr. Pepper while simultaneously wearing my Dr. Pepper t-shirt. :D

      Good luck with your New Things!

  4. My ex in-laws pushed their plastic Christmas tree into the corner of the living room and turned off the lights for the other 11 months of the year. Perhaps this is a solution? (Kidding)

    I understand the thrill of favoriting and following. Ben and Jerry's followed me last year after I had public Twittergasms over their Willie Nelson Peach flavor. It felt like my moment in the sun.

    1. My living room is in no way large enough to do this. I sort of wish it was. I have a friend with a large hall closet into which they shove their tree, fully decorated. I only wish!

      It's so easy to feel joy, thanks to Twitter! :D


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