Saturday, September 15, 2012

A Puff Piece for Entertainment Purposes

Subtitled: Two essays because Twitter just won't suffice sometimes. Read one, read both, just enjoy a peek into my sophisticated and glamour-filled life.

Essay 1: Squirrel Wars

I was lucky enough to step outside in time to watch two squirrels dueling it out over a hollow spot in our half-dead oak tree. I couldn't tell there were two squirrels at first, since they were both trying to cram themselves into a little nook. I watched them duke it out for like ten minutes.

They periodically stopped bickering in order to give me the Squirrel Stare of Doom. I captured a few choice shots.

That lady's staring at us.
She's still there. I gotta plan.
We'll fight over the equally tiny, nearly identical nook ten feet higher up the tree!
 They were still at it when I just checked on them. Squirrels. Highly entertaining.

Essay 2: My Adventures With Hair Dye.

Every once in a while, I get the bright idea to completely change my hair color. Sometimes it goes white, sometimes pink, purple, red, blue, etc. Lately, it's been black/blue. This requires a lot of maintenance on my strawberry blonde-ish hair. Today was maintenance day.

It all started out innocently enough. I remembered to take off my t-shirt so I wouldn't have to pull it over a head covered with hair dye when it was time to rinse it out. I also remembered to get my black robe, which shrugs off black hair dye for obvious reasons. Everything was set and ready to go.

It was all going so well, and then the squirty bottle decided to rebel. Next thing I knew, everything within ten feet of me was spattered with black/blue dye, including parts of myself that I didn't want to be bluish-black. Like my entire right ear. And my shoulder, right arm, parts of my back, half my face, the sink, the wastebasket, the toilet seat, and the floor. My white shower curtain was miraculously spared, but everything else is disasterized.

I scrubbed most of the dye off my ear, face, shoulder, arm, and back, but everything else is speckled blue/gray. This made me grumpy. I finished with the dye, cleaned up, and huffed off to the living room to wait. That's where the real trouble began.

I got caught up playing a game with Lulu, and didn't realize how quickly time was passing. Next thing I knew, more than double the length of time I was supposed to wait before rinsing had passed. I feel like a ding-dong, but I don't think I did any permanent harm. It just worries me when the packaging has warnings to the effect that sealing the mixed dye in the container could cause it to explode. I kept waiting for my hair to explode while I ran to the bathroom to rinse.

Everything turned out for the best. Other than the fact that I am now convinced it is impossible to take a remotely decent picture of myself. Please, don't be frightened. I don't bite.

Trust me, this is the least frightening photo of the lot. I am apparently quite distressing to gaze upon.

Progress-O-Meter update: It's been a hectic couple of days. Between the pitch madness #PitMad on Thursday, and all the GUTGAA craziness yesterday, as well as girl scout meetings and errands last night, I've been a little distracted. Not to mention the fact that I was awakened by a mild earthquake at ten to six this morning. It's been slow going in the editing department. Tomorrow will not improve. I'm going to the Maryland Renaissance Festival, so I'll be gone most of the day. I'll tweet anything interesting while we're there. It's my only chance to watch our official state sport: Jousting. I kid you not.

Words: 54,829
Pages: 171
Edit Page: 26

Okay, everyone. I want your best anecdotes today. I need some cheering up after the week we've had. What's the most entertaining thing that's happened to you today?


  1. I wish I had some quick story to cheer you. There is a rather long tale that involves my aunt's first day at her new job-flying coffee grounds, her foot stuck to a rodent strip trap, as she tries to set up new office space. That is always my barometer for measuring a day. :)

    1. That does sound like an entertaining tale! Reminds me of the day my dad's new office opened. They gathered in the brand new conference room, and the first thing he did was tip his chair over backward and put his head through the brand-new drywall, in front of the entire board! According to my dad, one of the people in attendance was Ted Leonsis, who now owns the Washington Capitals. I live by the motto that if you're going to screw up, at least make it spectacular. :D

  2. Old guy at work today was talking about his tv being 32 inches. Then he goes - 'the ladies are surprised it's that big,' with a gleam in his eyes. It was awesome:)


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