Long time no see on the bloggity

First of all, I did survive GISHWHES, in case anyone was wondering. It was an amazing week, but since then, I've been so distracted by other things, I haven't bothered to write any of them down here. For the most part, I've been putting my strange thoughts into tumblr posts as they occur to me, rather than saving everything up for a big post here.

It is time, however, for a BIG POST HERE. So, uh...here it is, a big post.

I finally finished editing Torn, and wrote a query letter, and I'm making my list and checking it 93,572 times before sending out queries. Riiiiight. Finished-- as if there is such a thing as finishing when it comes to editing. It's more like resigning from the task after conceding detente. Continuing would lead to mutually assured destruction, so the manuscript and I shook hands and bought each other a few drinks. We'll spend the next few weeks glaring suspiciously at one another while we wait to hear back from agents.

In the meantime, there are other exciting things in the works. Things that are in their infancy. Things that are not yet identifiable as infants, but more as three-headed-demon-raptors, howling into the night from their nests in the rafters of the attic. We (in the nebulous, mysterious sense of the word "we" because there are other "people" involved in this endeavor. I won't name them yet for fear of drawing down the wrath of heaven upon us all for plotting such a diabolical... plot) are nursing them along on a steady diet of secret potions and the blood of innocents. All will be revealed in good time. *chuckles maliciously* In good time.

The next step is to start writing the next thing now. It is my most favorite, and also my least favorite, part of writing. The thrill of a new plotline and new characters, and the thrilling agony of research, the hesitating stop-start-stop of molding a new world into a sensible story, and hoping I can keep flinging myself forward to the end. I can already feel my heart racing. It might be a caffeine overdose, but I don't think so. I think it's ecstatic terror that grips me every time I start a new story.

So I'm off to stave off the inevitable heart attack by draining off the bad mojo through my fingertips. I'll be back with updates as soon as the demon raptors are weaned and ready to take flight. Until then, beware of strange screeching noises from the attic.

Social Awareness

Howdy! Long time no see! Yes, I am aware I haven't written here in a while. It's the most wonderful time of the year again. I don't think the sarcasm conveyed properly, so here's a visual rendering of the last three weeks for you:

Well, sort of. There's been a lot of flailing and falling down. I only wish there were Winchesters.

I've put in a token appearance or two on Twitter, and paged through Tumblr once a day or so, but other than that, I haven't really been online much. I really need to pencil in some quality time with the Comfy Chair.

My absence from the interwebs has really made me think, though. So have a lot of posts I've been seeing lately on social media and online presence. Am I driving myself nutty trying to keep up with everything for nothing?

Part of the absence has been intentional, just to see what happened. I learned that if you don't blog, then nobody comes to check out your blog. That seems obvious. Without new content, what reason does anyone have to visit?

I basically use Tumblr as a distraction, rather than for any sort of research, interaction, or whatever. For me, it's where I go to look at pretty pictures and read happy things. I'm not trying to build a following there. If you follow me, thanks, and I hope you like the things I post, but mainly it's where I go to stare at things and clear my mind. I have been thinking about posting my Untweetworthy items there, and have done so a few times. That way, there will be a constant running of them, rather than waiting until I can remember enough interesting things to justify a whole blog post about them. Now I just have to remember to actually TAG the posts as Untweetworthy. :/

I have a Goodreads account, but I only use it when someone links to their new book, or when someone inexplicably asks me to be their friend there. I have more friends on Goodreads than books. Yes, I'm one of THOSE people. Part of that is I don't get enough time to read, and it's depressing to see the TBR list, to hear its mocking laughter. It's easier to bear a page at a time on my kindle. Also, while I love reading, writing reviews is hard. I look at it as akin to writing query letters, and even the thought of it just now gave me the shudders. So, the Goodreads account is languishing.

I love the Twitters. I can't give up the twitters. It's the one place where I actually engage in conversations with people I like. I just feel like I haven't been able to do it justice lately. I aim to be more engaging, but it's hard. For some reason, the people I live with demand my attention in the evenings, when most of y'all are on the tweeties. After the family gets sick of my company, I use the quiet time to write. That's when I'm a viking. And I don't want to give up too much of my viking time.

It's a matter of priorities. Right now, number one on the list is editing. I need to get this MS into shape, so I can write the next thing trying to push its way out of my brain. :)

I suppose in the end, what I really wanted to say was thanks. Thanks to every last one of you I interact with online. If you've been feeling underappreciated by yours truly, please try to remember, even if I forget to say it, that I love y'all, and I have no idea what I'd do without you. I might be too busy to say it sometimes, but I never want any of you to forget it.

Writer Kryptonite

I'm definitely a Marvel girl, but I like the Superman imagery for this post's title. The events I'm about to relate nearly reduced me to a quivering puddle of goo. I swear, I'm not cheating on you my dear X-men and Avengers. No need to come after me with your combined crazy weapons. I swear you're the main focus of this post. *nervous laughter and twitching*

Okay, I don't really take that above paragraph seriously, but I had a strange episode yesterday. It was strange enough, and entertaining enough, for me to put it in writing. You'll see the Marvel connection momentito.

It all started off with a common enough experience: the phone rang. That's not strange all by itself, but I glanced at the caller ID before I answered. It only said "NEW YORK." And my knees turned to jelly.

*Sigh* More backstory: I'm querying right now. I have several manuscripts out to agents. Most of those agents are located in New York. I'm already a little twitchy when the phone rings or the email notice chimes, but seeing the caller is from New York, and it's not my mom or a friend or something, is just about enough to start my eyeballs doing somersaults.

So I shushed the kid, who was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, and braced myself for anything. I answered the phone. The next 30 seconds went something like this:

ME: Hello?

PHONE: mrrflamlmmmm

ME: Um. Hello?

PHONE: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* clickity-clickity-click THUNK
     *This was an ear-bleed of a high pitched noise

ME: (after recovering from the ear-bleed) Hello? HELLO?!

Then I hung up. My first thought was, "Oh, great, I just lost any chance I will EVER have of publishing/finding an agent because I just yelled at someone on the phone. They probably think I'm the nutter and there was nothing wrong with the call on their end."

Then I realized I could check and see who actually called. Google to the rescue.

I entered the number from the caller ID, and it looked at little strange. I learned something else fun about the internet, too. The number who called me was registered to Trask Industries, and even Google Maps is in on the joke.

For those not familiar with the Marvel Universe, Trask Industries is explained HERE.

So maybe it wasn't a literary agent calling to beg me to be their client, but after the simultaneous heartbreak and confusion faded, at least I was left with the notion that somewhere out there, maybe Wolverine or Iron Man will have to come to my rescue some day. If Trask is a real thing, then maybe they are too. We can hope.

With that bit of nonsense, it's time to go back to my own imaginary version of New York City, setting of the novel I'm working on at the moment.

Unicorn Pillow I made when I was 10. I sit on it while I write now. FTW.

 I can't resist. Apologies.ERMAHGERD! ERNERCERN PERLO!

NEWSLY NOTES: And for a few fun updates on things I'm participating in within the Series of Tubes:

I am working up several new contest entries this month, some of which are already in the preliminary phases. There is the Hook, Line, and Sinker contest being run through THREE fabulous blogs. Already my preliminary pitch is up over at Kat Ellis's blog for critique.

Then there's Trick or Treat with an Agent! This one is particularly fun because of the two questions entrants are asked to answer. Even if you're not entering the contest, if you are a writer you should give those questions a gander! Fun stuff!

And I can't forget the Pitch Live! Video pitch contest. This one just about killed me. I spent five hours making a video pitch, and I still hate it. *grumbles* I'm about to throw in the towel and just do a costumed chorus line routine, and possibly sing my pitch. At least then the agents who view it will have something memorable and likely a good laugh (or possibly an aneurism. Maybe I should rethink that...) I'm working up the nerve to post the video on this blog.

Also upcoming: The Authoress Baker's Dozen, with FIFTEEN agents participating! My logline is also there for preliminary critique, at #15. Kinda auspicious, right? Fifteen agents, I'm number fifteen...okay, I'll take what I can get. This one is a HUGE, MUST-NOT-MISS EVENT for the unagented among us.

There are probably others, which I'll post as I remember them. In the mean time, here's my sad Progress-o-Meter update:

Words: 55,678
Pages: 173
Edit Page: 139

Voodoo as a Legitimate Response to Querying

I haven't written here in a while. At least it feels that way. I've been sucked under by my glamorous whirlwind of a life. At least I've been making time for writing.

So today I spent the morning helping the Girl Scouts unload and deliver a mega-crapton of  mums and pansies. When you're the lady who owns a monster truck, you get picked to help out with delivery-ish things.

A small portion (very small) of the mega-crapton of flowers.

At least all the flowers made me feel all autumny. I love this time of year. In fact, the only thing Lulu wants to do this weekend is go out for a pumpkin spice latte. I can't argue with that.

On the way home from flower duty, I saw something odd in the road. It was a black rat snake sunning itself on the pavement, coiled up and taking bites at cars as they carefully drove around it. I slammed on my brakes, parked, and fetched a stick out of the roadside ditch. I went over, Steve Irwin style, and moved the little (hah, like 6' long) snakey from the road. A lady pulled up behind me and put her hazard lights on, blocking the road so I wouldn't get squished by speeding rednecks. Hopefully the snake had the common sense to stay out of traffic. I'm now all nervous about driving that way again and seeing him smeared all over the street.

For those who don't know, I live in a rural area. Most of the roads are narrow country lanes between fields dotted with cows and corn, soybeans and goats. My entire neighborhood is one lane roads on steep hills and sharp curves. This still doesn't stop some people from driving forty miles an hour, or a lot faster out on the wide and spacious country lanes where I found snakey.

Anyway, I've also been battling technology for the last few days. I've dropped my phone twice today, once the second I got out of bed, and again at the post office. I've suffered two power outages that lasted just long enough to reset everything in the house and reboot my computer. Let this stand as your BACK UP YOUR WRITING reminder for the day.

And finally, the reason I was at the post office. After a conversation with my CP, the fabulous @FeakySnucker, I decided I needed to make an Agent Love Voodoo Doll.  I mailed the prototype to her. The idea is that when you're waiting for a response on a full manuscript submission, you pin the novel's title to the doll in a heart, causing the agent in question to fall deeply in love with it and take you on as a client. The logic might be shaky, but it's based on centuries of Voodoo tradition. And if you're rejected, you can just stick pins through the doll's naughty bits. If I actually gave the doll any naughty bits.

Keep in mind that this is a rudimentary prototype. Next time I make one, I promise to use pins, and draw a better pattern. This one took all of five minutes to make, which is why his arms and legs are so wonky:

Mutant Agent Love Voodoo Doll

Have y'all ever resorted to anything this drastic? Would anyone else be interested in an Agent Love Voodoo Doll? Would it help if I swore to make sure its head turned out round instead of pointy? Do you think I need to spend less time on social media dreaming up this sort of lunacy?

Oh, and the Progress-o-Meter

Words: 55,373
Pages:172
Edit Page: 98